I'm iHeartRadio's Toby Knapp and I'd like to release this statement regarding allegations which say I may have an ice-cream side hustle...
I would like to say that I WISH I owned TOBY's ICE CREAM in ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA.
They're making lots of noise in the Commonwealth of By-Gawd Virginia right now... because in that region of the iHeartNation, the world is being invaded by these CICADAS.
The insects, which have been underground for almost two decades, have emerged from their underground world, much like the UNDERMINER in the INCREDIBLES movies from PIXAR. They came forth to mate, and they're flying into everything, cars, homes, people's bosoms... even riding along on some people's bald heads whilst they swim in pools... and they're quite the annoyance.
But... Where some see annoying, others see opportunity... and that's what TOBY'S HOMEMADE ICE CREAM in Arlington, Virginia did.
They decided to create CICADA ICE CREAM SUNDAES.
Waffle cones are the wings. Cherries are the eyes. There's a bunch of chocolate and whatnot, sprinkles and such and I am told they don't make noise... but they do taste great!
So, whilst I wish I had a side-hustle going on, I do not. But I will be going to Toby's Home-Made Ice Cream to try this goodness... and I am certain it will be good. So good. And it will be oddly self-serving to be at a place which shares my name, but who cares...
... it's ice cream. And what's bad about that!
Thank you for your attention...
Toby Knapp
iHeartRadio // DC
tk@iheartradio.com