ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Your Monday brain wakes up with the energy of someone who thinks they’re ready to conquer the week… until you realize you left your planner, your gym clothes, and your sanity back in the weekend. You're trying to move at 100mph but forgot your keys and your will.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
You hit snooze four times, roll out of bed only for the promise of breakfast, and side-eye anyone who even mentions productivity before noon. Your brain on Monday is basically a potato in cozy pajamas whispering, “Why are we like this?”
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
Your brain is already juggling five conversations, three outfit ideas, and two possible career changes — all before you’ve even brushed your teeth. Mondays hit fast, but you're faster... even if you don’t know where you’re running to.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
You start Monday morning emotionally hungover from the weekend. Your brain is spiraling about something small your friend said in passing and you’re low-key already planning next weekend’s self-care ritual to recover from this one.
LEO (July 23 - Aug. 22)
You enter Monday like it's your red carpet moment — dramatic sunglasses, coffee in hand, strutting in like you own the building... until someone actually expects you to do something, and suddenly you're begging the universe for a three-day weekend.
VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)
You had Monday planned out since Friday night, but now your brain is glitching over a typo in an email you sent two weeks ago. The vibe is “prepared but mentally spiraling.” You'll get it together, but not before you rewrite your to-do list 17 times.
LIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)
You spent so long picking the perfect outfit this morning, you forgot to check your calendar — and now you’re charming your way through chaos. Your brain is like, “We don’t have a plan, but we look good, so it’s fine.”
SCORPIO (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)
Your Monday brain is quiet, calculating, and already three moves ahead. You're pretending not to be annoyed by the noise of Monday, but internally you’re plotting your escape. No small talk. Just intensity and iced coffee.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
You wake up on Monday questioning your whole life path. Should you move to Portugal? Start a travel blog? Your brain wants to run away, but your body clocked in anyway — so now you're just mentally checked out until further notice.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
You’ve been up since 5am, your emails are already answered, and your Monday is basically a TED Talk in productivity. But by 2:00pm, you’re staring at the wall wondering why you do this to yourself every week. Brain says “we’re thriving”... but your eye twitch says otherwise.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
You woke up thinking about the meaning of life and forgot it was trash day. Your Monday brain is somewhere in space, wondering why we even work a 5-day week. But somehow, you still show up — weird, brilliant, and just a little unhinged.
PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20)
You’re at work, but in your head you’re still dreaming. Monday mornings for you feel like being rudely dragged out of a fairytale and thrown into an Excel spreadsheet. You’ll get there eventually... after three mental naps and a cinnamon roll.