♈ Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19): You’re the loud ghost — slamming doors, flicking lights, and announcing your presence like you’re headlining Coachella. You’re not haunting, you’re performing. Even in the afterlife, it’s all about the drama.
♉ Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): You’re the cozy ghost — haunting your old house because it still has the best snacks and vibe. You’ll knock over a candle if someone moves your throw blanket. Lazy? No. Luxuriously undead.
♊ Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20): You’re the gossip ghost — floating through walls just to eavesdrop and say, “oh no they didn’t.” You’re too busy haunting the group chat to actually scare anyone.
♋ Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22): You’re the emotional ghost — still crying in the attic because no one came to your funeral with enough flowers. You’ll comfort the living, then guilt-trip them for moving on.
♌ Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22): You’re the glamorous ghost — dramatic lighting, slow entrances, and moaning just loud enough for attention. You’re not haunting people; you’re giving them a show.
♍ Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22): You’re the perfectionist ghost — reorganizing shelves and fixing crooked picture frames in the afterlife. The living don’t fear you… they just think their house is suddenly cleaner.
♎ Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22): You’re the flirty ghost — you haunt mirrors just to admire yourself and whisper, “hey boo 👻.” You’re not scaring anyone — you’re seducing them.
♏ Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21): You’re the vengeful ghost — mysterious, intense, and probably the reason someone’s cat won’t go in that one room. You don’t haunt for fun — you haunt for closure.
♐ Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21): You’re the chaotic ghost who refuses to stay in one place. You’re haunting Airbnbs, nightclubs, and random group photos. You call it “wandering”; everyone else calls it a problem.
♑ Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19): You’re the workaholic ghost — clocking in daily to make sure your haunting schedule runs on time. You’ll leave spreadsheets of who screamed, when, and how loud.
♒ Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18): You’re the ghost that haunts Wi-Fi. Phones glitch, lights flicker, and somehow Spotify plays “Disturbia.” You’re not spooky — you’re just messing with the algorithm.
♓ Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): You’re the dramatic, poetic ghost — floating through the fog whispering things like “remember me.” You don’t haunt houses, you haunt hearts.